Funny Interview Question Responses
If you would actually like to be considered for the role you are being interviewed for, we do not recommend using any of these.
1. Remember, every question is a test so when they say “How are you?” reply “Goal orientated, thank you.”
2. Be confident. After answering each question kiss your fist and say ‘nailed’ to yourself.
3. Make a point of mentioning you failed Religious Studies and say “the only thing I worship is productivity.” 2 thumbs up!
4. Show you’re good at delegating responsibility by sending someone else to the interview.
5. Be confident, but subtle. Tap ‘Team player’ in Morse code on the desk with your pen.
6. Always keep eye contact and if you have two interviewers, train your eyes to work independently like a chameleon.
7. Employers check Facebook accounts so make sure all your photos show you looking at spreadsheets and punching the air.
8. Leave a gap in 2011 on your CV. When they ask what you did in 2011 say “remember the Arab Spring?” and point to yourself.
9. Tell them you’re not an applicant, you’re an appliCAN. Lick your finger and hold against buttock. Make sizzling noise.
10. When asked why you’d be suited to the job, pass an ancient scroll across the desk and say “It was foretold.” Stare at them.
11. If you’re meeting three interviewers, bring in a four finger Kitkat. Take charge of distributing the Kitbat to emphasise leadership.
12. If through nerves you feel you have to belch in the interview, belch a word in your favour like ‘enthusiastic’.
13. If asked where you see yourself in 5 years time, tip them out of their chair, sit on it & say ‘here’. Break open a Fanta.
14. At the beginning, try to make small talk with your interviewer such as “lovely day” or “you look like my real father!”
15. When asked to describe yourself in 5 words, say “atrocious counting skills”. Laugh. Open a pack of Mini Eggs.
16. When asked if you found the place ok, say “I was driven here by a cab. Normally of course I’m driven by results!” 4 winks.
17. Take a call during the interview. Say “I can’t talk now I’m going into a tunnel – a tunnel of hope!” wink at the interviewer.
18. Know the interviewers name and use it during the interview. If you’re not sure what it is, call them “Jobsy” or “Jobbo”
19. If asked to describe yourself in 5 words, say “I will bring in cakes!” Produce brownie from your jacket pocket and smile.
20. When it’s your turn to ask a question say “Does this job come with a free apron ‘cos I’m gonna be cooking” 1 finger gun.